Dealing with Anxiety

Transition impact

University a Freshers Guide

What to ask on an open day

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal emotion, and in the right amounts it can be useful. It has three characteristics:

Physical sensations in the body - Associated with adrenalin - preparing the body for action

Anxious thoughts - Over-estimate "danger"; underestimate ability to cope

Anxious behaviour - Behaviour aimed at helping anticipate and/or avoid future danger, e.g. looking out for danger (hypervigilance), avoiding worrying situations

Fight, Flight or Freeze
Fight	Flight	Freeze
When in fight mode, children may react in a way that we see as aggressive:	When in flight mode, children may react in a way that we see as avoidant:	When in freeze mode, children may react in a way that we see as ignorant or rude:
Hitting out Throwing things Shouting Swearing Hurting self Fighting with peers	Pleading to leave a situation or walking/running away Feigning illness to avoid leaving home Escaping to a perceived safe place e.g. the bathroom, bedroom, to a caregiver	Refusing to answer questions/participate in family activities Hiding under/behind furniture Refusing to get out of the car Refusing to leave caregivers

Anxiety Cycle:

Anxious people overestimate the danger (I am going to get lost at my new school if I am by myself)
Anxious people underestimate their ability to cope (The school is too big, I cannot do this alone, I will get in trouble for being late to class)
Anxious people look out for evidence to confirm their thoughts are correct (If I wasn't with my friend right now, I would be lost)
Anxious people make conclusions from this evidence, keeping them in the anxiety cycle (I am only safe if someone is with me)

What may this young person need to learn?

What can we do to help?

Reassurance:

Reassurance is a natural response, and in some situations, it may reduce distress in the short-term.
Anxious children often seek out reassurance however, it often does not help them to feel less anxious in the long run.
Reassurance can be addictive: the more a child gets reassurance, the more they will want it/think they need it.
Cutting out reassurance (by responding differently) can be attempted gradually and in a way that feels comfortable. E.g. 'If it does go wrong, that's normal', 'we can solve it together', 'why don't you try it and see how it goes?', 'how can we look at this more positively?'

Breathing Techniques (PDF, 399 KB)(opens new window)

Calming Techniques (PDF, 374 KB)(opens new window)

Transition tips for Parents (PDF, 5 MB)(opens new window)

Promote Independence:

Be confident in your child - and let them know.
Show your child how to be independent and do things for themselves
Encourage them to have an internal voice that says "have a go - I can do this"
Slowly build up what your child can do
Give your child choices, rather than choosing for them.

Children who are anxious about a particular thing will often use avoidance as a strategy to manage this anxiety. Some fears can be too overwhelming to have a go at straight away, so they need to face these gradually to build up their confidence get them used to testing out what they are afraid of. By breaking down the goal behaviour into smaller, achievable steps we are more likely to be able to get the child to do this.

How to create a step-by-step plan

Decide on which fear to face first, what is it that they need to learn?
Think about an ultimate goal
Break this goal down into 6—10 steps
Put the steps in order from least difficult to most difficult
Think about implementing rewards for each step that will make taking these steps a little easier!

Age	Skill
6+	Choosing clothes, dressing self, tying shoes
7+	Taking a bath, brushing teeth, combing hair
8+	Putting dirty clothes in the washing basket
9+	Making breakfast or packing bag for school
10+	Choosing own haircut of hairstyle
11+	Getting up in the morning using an alarm. Being responsible for tidying bedroom
12+	Arrange own transport e.g. bike, bus

Problem Solving:

Some of a young person's worries may never come true, they might just be "what ifs".
But if they do come true, what can we do?
It's important to encourage a young person to have a go at solving the problem they may be facing.
E.g. "I'm worried I'll get lost at High School"
What solutions might they come up with?
Encourage them to discuss the pros and cons of each solution
Pick best solution and try it out!

Thought Challenge:

If the young person is struggling to let thoughts/worries, we can encourage them to challenge that thought. E.g., "I have no friends" - put this in two 'for' and 'against' columns
If the thought does come true, what could you do? (Problem solving)
How likely is it that you would be okay if that thought was true?
In a week ...%, In a month ...%, In a year ...%

Supportive, Positive, Emotional Regulation:

Validation of emotions
Talk about feelings (good and bad)
Model appropriate emotional regulation
Encourage appropriate expression of feelings
Teach positive self-talk

Parental and School Staff - Self Care:

Don't forget to look after yourselves! It is vital and not selfish to spend some time looking after yourself. Things we should consider:

Social Support
Hobbies
Time away from home
Care of physical and mental health
Mental Health Foundation - mentalhealth.org.uk
Mind - mind.org.uk
NHS - nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services
Local Wellbeing service

Support for Young People:

School staff - Pastoral, Teachers etc.
Mental Health Support Team - speak to school.
Young Minds - youngminds.org.uk
Kooth - kooth.com

If you have an urgent or emergency concern, please contact the Trust's 24/7 Mental Health Crisis Line on 0800 051 1508 Text REACH to 85258. These services provide immediate advice or support for all ages (children, young people and adults).

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